What’s more romantic, a kiss on the forehead or hand?
The first one.
Does it bug you when someone asks, “What’s wrong?” and they don’t stick around long enough for you to answer?
When does this happen?
Have you ever made someone so happy that they cried?
Yes, I think so.
Do you like it when guitars squeak?
The fuck does that even mean?
Have you waved at someone, only to find out that they were actually waving at somebody BEHIND you?
Do massages relax you or make you even more tense?
How would a massage make you more tense? That’s fucking dumb. Unless a bulldozer is giving the massage, it should always relax you.
Is your idea of wrapping a present shoving the gift in a bag full of tissue paper?
No. I wrap shit nicely or I don’t at all.
Are you that kid in class that’s constantly clicking that stupid pen?
Yes. Fuck off.
Are you guilty of hitting your head on the bottom of a pool?
Have you ever gotten perfume/cologne sprayed in your mouth?
Is the person you have feelings for at least a bit cute?
What’s your biggest fear being in a relationship?
Are you protective of anyone in your family more so than other members?
I will kill you if you try to harm Sean or Sara.
What are the first things you notice about someone?
How can you tell when you’re really starting to like someone?
If I don’t actively avoid talking to them, it probably means I like ‘em.
Where do you want to travel?
Especially North Korea, Australia, Antarctica, UK, Russia, Norway, Sweden.
How often do you have to do laundry? Do you hate doing it or does it not really bother you?
I do it when I don’t have a single piece of clothing left to wear.
How has the weather been lately where you live?
When do you do all of your deep thinking and contemplations about life?
All day, ‘err day.
Have you ever had a new year’s kiss?
No. Had a New Years Jack Daniels though!
Do you prefer to drink regular water or do you enjoy flavored waters?
Water. It’s not called “regular water”. It’s called water.
Do you actually pay attention to things like which sock you put on first?
What do you mean “things like”… you only gave 1 extremely specific example…
What shows on television do you think are absolute garbage?
Reality tv, anything related to trucks, or logging, or pawn shops, or cakes.
Do you sing when you’re home alone?
What kind of soap do you use, bar soap or liquid soap?
What are two things that you have no problem paying full price for?
Anything for Sara.
What seasoning do you use the most on your food?
Hot sauce, paprika, parsley, dill, garlic.
Do you ever buy snacks at the movie theater? What do you get?
At what time does it start getting dark where you live?
What do you mean “where you live”? You do know what a solstice is, right?
Which is worse: dusting or mopping?
You can still get mops?
Peanut butter VS. Caramel - which side are you on?
Caramel. Peanut butter is lame AF.
What’s the best “food creation” you’ve ever come up with?
Too many to mention. Among them: vegan orange cake, ramen pasta, a number of smoothies.
Do you own any DVD box sets?
I don’t buy dvds.
Do you think “just be yourself” is always good advice, or are there any circumstances you think it’s best to hide who you are?
Dumb. You just fucking presume that you are perfect. You aren’t. Be yourself, but if you have bad qualities, do something to change them. Don’t just sit there cruising through life like it’s going to last forever.
Are you a fan of musicals? If so, which are your favorites?
What type of personality or personality traits are you most drawn to in others?
Intelligence, spirit, enthusiasm, moxy.
Do you think it’s best to get to know someone before going out with them, or is learning about someone part of the dating process?
Doesn’t matter either way.
Are you shy in a new relationship, or do jump into physical and emotion connection quite quickly?
It could be said that I jump in. But that’s not very accurate. I have many, many levels of trust and connection that are not immediately or even eventually noticeable.
What is your favorite word in a different language?
How am I supposed to type in Russian? It’s pronounced zen-shin-uh.
Have you ever had a facial? How was it? If not, would you ever get one?
When was the last time you dealt with something at least remotely annoying?
Have you ever sold anything online either on Craigslist, eBay, Amazon, etc.? If not, what is your website of choice like any of the above for buying things?
Sold pokemon cards on eBay. Love, LOVE Amazon.
Have you ever considered keeping a dream journal? If you have one, have you ever looked back on it at all of the odd/interesting dreams you used to have?
Nah. I remember the important ones.
What is your favorite ‘ology’ to learn about (psychology, biology, sociology…)?
Biology, chemistry, astronomy, physics. I won’t bother translating these into -ology form.
How long can your laptop go on a full battery?
An hour maybe.
Do you like iPads/tablets or laptops more? E-readers or books?
Laptop. I will never buy any of the other mentioned things.
Have you ever been dissatisfied with receiving a grade that many would consider a good grade (i.e.: an A- or a B)?
1)Are you really ready for 111 questions?
No, but that’s never stopped me before!
2) Was your last real relationship a mistake?
It’s never a mistake.
4) Who did you last say “I love you” to?
5) Do you regret it? Saying I love you?
No, not at all.
6) Have you ever been depressed?
7) Are you a boy or girl?
8) Who was your first crush?
Jordan. I’ve never had a crush on a girl and didn’t eventually end up with her.
9) What is your relationship status?
10) How do you want to die?
11) What did you last eat?
12) Played any sports?
Soccer, tennis, badmitten.
13) Do you bite your nails?
14) When was your last physical fight?
15) Do you have an attitude?
Am I a spineless, non-free-thinking conformist capitalist with no opinions of my own or not enough courage to express them? Take a guess.
16) Do you like someone?
Yes. Here’s a hint. Her name starts with Sara and ends.
17) What is your real name?
19) Are you gonna get high later?
How high we talking? 1,500 feet? 3,000 feet?
20) Do you hate anyone at the moment?
Now that I think about it, yes.
21) Do you miss someone?
Sara and Carl Sagan.
22) Twirl or cut your spaghetti?
What the fuck are you talking about? Neither.
23) Do you tan a lot?
Yeah man. Photons be all over me like Michael on children, but worse.
24) Have any pets?
Yeeee, got my kitten.
25) How exactly are you feeling?
Hmmmm… Well, the electromagnetic force is repelling the atoms that get too close to the atoms at the surface of my skin, and biological pressure sensors in my innervated skin send electrical impulses along the conduction system allowed by my nervous system. They reach my brain, and my brain then perceives these electrical impulses as touch. So that’s how I’m feeling right now. I hope that’s exact enough for you.
26) Ever eaten food in a car while someone or yourself is driving?
…Have I ever ate food in a car? Are you serious?
27) Ever made out in the bathroom?
28) Would you take any of your exes back?
29) Are you scared of spiders?
Fuck them all.
30) Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
31) Do you regret anything from your past?
Ehhh, just one thing. I don’t regret things that aren’t permanent.
32) What are your plans for this weekend?
George Washington’s wooden teeth.
33) Do you want to have kids?
Yes, if I want to.
34) Did you ever kiss someone whose name starts with an W?
I don’t think so.
35) Do you type fast?
Yes. But I usually don’t.
36) Do you have piercings? How many?
37) Want any more?
At LEAST 7,000,000,000 more.
38) Can you spell well?
Most of the time.
39) Do you miss anyone from your past?
Have you ever participated in a scavenger hunt? If not, is that something you would ever be interested in doing?
Yes. I want more.
When was the last time you were persuaded into doing something you didn’t want to do?
Is there anyone you do / would trust with your e-mail account information?
My email? Who gives a shit? I’ll give my password to your mother.
What is your favorite holiday-only food & / or drink?
Eggnog. SO FUCKING GOOD GODDAMN.
Do you like the way flour feels?
Are you easily startled by things?
Do you know anyone that wears so much make up that they look like they belong in the circus?
Would encountering someone wearing the same clothing as you make you uncomfortable? Would you care at all?
Has anyone ever shouted out their car window that they liked what you were wearing?
No, but I’ve had insults yelled at me.
If you consume sodas [or other canned beverages], do you prefer drinking it directly out of the can or in a glass?
A glass? What is this, North Korea?
If you were asked to participate in a bake sale, would you actually bake the dessert or bring in something store-bought?
I would bake something…
Are there any dead bugs in any of your light fixtures?
Yeah, let me go check right now, asshole.
Have you ever actually sent or received a postcard?
Yes. A number of times.
Have you ever written anything on a bathroom stall wall?
Do you use a bag clip to keep your snacks fresh?
I don’t eat “snacks”.
Did 11 / 11 / 11 actually have any significance to you whatsoever?
Have you ever used a ringtone maker?
What kind of games can you recall playing during recess in elementary school?
Are you ever very aware of your heartbeat?
That’s called a heart palpitation, and everyone experiences it.
Are there any particular shows / movies you always watch during certain holidays? If yes, what are they?
If you don’t intend to have children, what is the reason behind your decision?
I don’t want cooties.
How is your relationship with members of your extended family? Is there anyone that you do not seem to get along with?
When was the last time you were offended by what someone has said or done to you?
Oh, fuck off. Being “offended” is a bullshit concept.
Aside from water, what is something that you eat or drink daily? Does you day go any differently if you fail to consume it?
Have you ever stayed in a relationship with someone who didn’t treat you correctly? Or someone who constantly took you for granted? What do you think made you stay with them despite of that?
Yeah. Because I don’t scrap something like that unless it’s for a good reason.
Are you a procrastinator? If so, how bad do you consider yourself to be and what are the things that you usually do when procrastinating?
Yeah, pretty average. Anything.
When was the last time that you were under a lot of stress and what caused you to feel that way?
Do you have any friends on Facebook or Twitter who post a lot of personal things publicly as if it’s their diary? Does it bother you when people are too transparent?
No. I don’t have shitty facebook friends.
Do you like to cook for people, or do you order to be cooked for? Has anyone ever told you that you were a good cook?
Yes, yes, and yes.
Do you prefer to go out to get ice cream, or do you just like to get the kind you keep in your freezer? What flavor do you usually get?
Going out. Vanilla or strawberry only.
Do you look forward to the holidays, or do you dread them? What holiday is your least favorite, and why?
Only real holiday is Christmas, don’t really care about any of them that much, though.
What is your favorite type of print (ex: zebra, stripes, argyle)? Do you have a lot of things with this print on it?
Are there any stores you feel uncomfortable going into (ex: if you dress girly, do you feel uncomfortable going into Hot Topic)? Are there any stores that you refuse, or just never go in to?
Do you look in mirrors a lot, or do you try to avoid them? How many mirrors are in your house?
Yes I do.
Are the lines on your palms deep, faint, chained, or almost non-existant?
Do you tell people your middle name, or are you the sort to keep it secret?
Do you have a strange way of eating any foods?
Yes. Can’t think of any right now, though.
What color do you look best in?
Does going to the mall excite you, or do you get self conscious when you’re in there?
I like it.
Do you or did you go to most of your school’s dances, or did you skip them? Why?
What’s the name of a song you’ve listened to a lot recently?
Just A Dream - Nelly
Are you texting anyone at this moment?
How often do you talk to the person you currently have feelings for?
'Errrrrr day. <3
You were given the opportunity to get a new cellular device, what do you choose?
BACK MUTHERFUCKING FLIP
Which of your classes in school is most capable of killing a good mood for you?
Is there anyone of your preferred sex who tends to mess with your head?
All of ‘em.
Is there something you should be doing right now, besides this survey?
Talking to Sara. (:
Have you ever sold anything that you’ve created such as art, photographs, or clothing?
Do you think it’s weird when people treat their pets like children or show them the same amount of love as they do their human family members?
It depends, not usually.
Are there any causes you believe in strongly enough to go to a rally or protest for? If so, what is it and why would you think it’s necessary?
Yes, LOTS. Too many to mention.
Do you take criticism well?
Sometimes when you’re laying down, do you feel like you’re floating?
Nah, my back always hurts at least a little bit.
Do you feel there is an overuse of antibiotics?
Omfg. Look, asshole, it has nothing to do with `feelings`. It’s a fucking scientific fact that there is overuse of antibiotics for prescription, animal feed, and household products. And, we WILL see the results of this problem down the line in the form of some pretty nasty bacteria.
Does your mental state really affect your health/lifespan?
THIS SHIT AGAIN? YES, IT’S A M.O.T.H.E.R.F.U.C.K.I.N.G. SCIENTIFIC FACT YOU SHITLORD.
Do you think dark chocolate is bitter, or just very sweet?
Do you think you would have a better chance at winning Jeopardy or Survivor?
Both. At once.
If you were given a test verbally, but were told to write down the answers, would you fail?
If you were in a heated argument with someone, and later found out that you were wrong, would you apologize?
If I felt I should.
Do you have a china cabinet in your house?
Do you have sensitive teeth?
Have you ever been entangled in seaweed while swimming in the ocean?